


In Noise and Restlessness

by cruxcantare



Category: Professional Wrestling, Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Community: wrestlingkink, Kissing, M/M, Mind Reading, Wet Dream, m/m - Freeform, unexplained phenomena
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-11-17 11:17:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11274345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruxcantare/pseuds/cruxcantare
Summary: He thought he was crazy at first. Laughing at nothing and being doubled over with puke that wouldn’t come out of his mouth but still burned his throat and weighed on his tongue. But as the connection became clearer, he saw his best friend’s thoughts and dreams.





	1. Chapter 1

There’s something special about the calm. Despite being known as an agent of destruction, Joe prefers it. He yearns for it. His bread and butter may be chaos, but this is what he fights for. A moment alone on a quiet Wednesday night.

Joe’s bare feet hit the black mat softly, making his way to a beaten up, taped up bag hanging from the ceiling. There’s a soft buzz from the air conditioner but otherwise, Joe doesn’t hear a thing. The noise barely lets up, so when Joe can find his quiet, he takes it. The gym belongs to an old friend of his, a key to the place given long before, when Joe was younger and had much different plans for his future. He’d never imagined the WWE or Brock Lesnar in his plans, but now that he had it, he’d be damned if he let it go.

Joe uses his fist as a ruler, pressing his bare knuckles into the canvas and stepping back until there was only a slight bend in his left arm. His right foot steps to the side. Years of practice and discipline have made him sure of his balance. His fists clench, raising up to his face. A breath. With a feral shout, he hits the bag with all his might. When the bag swings back he hits with his right fist in a cross, hips swiveling into the punch.

Peace through violence. Mind and body one.

His left foot steps out and he swings his right leg against the bag, kicking twice. He has no set routine for his combination, moving his body however he feels like. He hops backward and then reels back with his left arm, meeting the bag with his fist When there’s nothing to focus on but the bag, Joe can feel his anger dissipate. A life like his demands a proper separation of church and state, so to speak—the Destroyer must a monster, but Joe has to be a man as well.

_“The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor._ _Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.”_

And there’s the noise. Probably shouldn’t thought of the word _church_.

The room is still empty, the only physical sound coming from the old, harsh air conditioner, but Joe cannot escape the noise. And he’s tried.

At first, it wasn’t noise at all. It was _sensation_. Random pangs of pain in his back, or the phantom taste of peach soju. Joe cried another person’s sorrow and laughed because of another person’s mirth and he had no idea what it was. Eventually, it evolved into a sharing of thoughts. He thinks the first one might’ve been a nightly meditation as well.

Joe hits the bag with a sharp uppercut, sending it reeling backward. The hook on the ceiling shakes, squeaking on its anchor.

“NOT. NOW.”

He shouts out, to both fate and to the other man, wondering why he was so cursed. Luckily he was alone; anyone else would’ve wondered why Joe was talking to himself. He couldn’t explain the connection; he’d only really recently begun to somewhat understand it. He hadn't bothered to wrap his knuckles, and the thin layer of skin on them is starting to wear fast, showing signs of deep redness and brush burn.

To this day, Joe’s not sure _how_ he and his best friend connected. Him and AJ weren’t always mentally connected. Years of friendship between two mostly normal men went by without any glimpse into AJ’s thoughts. Joe couldn’t be sure when it started, but it was around the time AJ moved to Japan. He thought he was crazy at first. Laughing at nothing and being doubled over with puke that wouldn’t come out of his mouth but still burned his throat and weighed on his tongue. But as the connection became clearer, he saw his best friend’s thoughts and dreams. The time difference put them on opposite sides of the day, one asleep while the other was awake, and Joe hadn’t realized how much of a blessing that was until AJ also signed with the WWE.

Now, both awake at the exact same times, the noise can be _deafening._

_“What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed swayed by the wind? If not, what did you go out to see? A man dressed in fine clothes? No, those who wear fine clothes are in kings’ palaces. Then what did you go out to see?”_

Was AJ ignoring him? Joe knows he could hear all the thoughts at the forefront of his mind, just like Joe could hear AJ’s.

_“Al!”_

_“Stop tryin’ to distract me.”_

_“I can’t train with you quoting Jesus at me.”_

_“I’m not quoting him at you. Ignore me.”_

Easier said than done. Joe growls, before he leans back and kicks the bag. The roundhouse sends it flying to the side, rattling the chain it's on. When it swings back he gets it with crescent kick and sends it back again.

_“What are you so pent up about anyway?”_

_“Al shut the fuck up_.” Oh, so now he doesn’t want to meditate. Joe lunges at the bag, fist out. He catches it with a heavy punch, growling loudly. He pulls away -- a small trickle of blood drips off his knuckle. He hates having someone be able to pick him apart. There are things he would like to keep to himself, but whatever _this thing_ is makes him an open book, whether he likes it or not. He takes a deep breath, and then hits with his other hand with two quick jabs.

_“Wait you’re bleedin’?”_

“ _Go back to your bible._ ” Joe goes to throw a cross with his right hand, but it stings upon contact, and he reflexively jerks away with a surprised gasp. The bag swings toward him, but he manages to slow it down with his other hand, staring at the traces of blood on his right knuckles.

_“Where are you I’m comin’.”_

Joe doesn’t have to say. The question immediately makes the location pop in his head, and he snarls, knowing AJ got it. He can feel the concern, and while he appreciates it he doesn’t need or want his charity.

_“How do I shut you off?”_

_“When you find out tell me, you ruined my nightly meditation.”_

***

AJ’s thoughts leave Joe’s mind about fifteen minutes after. Neither of them could choose when it turned off and on. Sometimes, it was funny, Joe unable to keep from laughing out loud in the performance center as AJ’s thoughts of making L’s with his hands to figure out which was the left popped into his head. Usually, it was inconvenient, giving AJ access to his innermost thoughts and feelings. Giving anyone full access to the things Joe kept close was bad enough; that it was someone so close to him was even worse. It allowed AJ to do things such as coming to see him now.

Joe thought about leaving. He still can. But AJ knows where he’s staying anyway, and more importantly, he doesn’t want AJ to come to an abandoned gym. A small part of him doesn’t want to let the one constant presence in his life down… a thought that made him suddenly glad he couldn’t hear AJ’s thoughts at the moment. He could already hear AJ’s response in his head. Shaking away the one word AJ used to taunt him. He just finished his workout and cooled down, left to look at how raw his knuckles had become.

Joe can barely hear the knock. He misses it the first time, but the second gets his attention. He unlocks the door, looking at AJ. The years had passed them in strange ways, but now that Joe was consistently in his head he just knew all of them. AJ’s body was possibly as familiar to him as his own, and even without the noise, he knows AJ’s back is in some pain and that AJ had been up far too early for no damned reason this morning. He looks like he just got out of bed, finally allowing himself to slow down—Joe could curse himself for getting him out of bed, because he knows AJ does everything not to slow down. His hair is tied into a bun, and he’s wearing sweats and a ratty t-shirt. Without a word, AJ grabs his hand, cuffing around Joe’s fingers. He hisses as AJ lifts it up, looking at the dried blood.

“Are you a moron?” His thumb slides along his knuckles, making Joe hiss again. “Shoulda known I’d find you like this.”

“You’re one to talk. You think this is bad? I felt _everything_ with your lower back. Yoga isn’t medicine, you know.”

“The past’s the past.” AJ waves him off. It was hard to strike a balance between living their lives and remembering that any ache or bruise or break they got would eventually be felt by the other man. When Joe dislocated his jaw last summer, AJ couldn’t eat for hours. When AJ injured his ankle in December, Joe had nearly fallen over despite on the other side of the world. Regal had yelled for trainers who couldn’t find anything wrong with his leg.

Maybe Joe should’ve wrapped his hand.

“Where does Carlos keep the first aid kit?”

“I don’t need a first aid kit.”

AJ glares in response.

“All right, come on, I’ll show you.”

Joe wonders how this would jive with his façade as a monster. The kaiju that would topple Brock Lesnar, letting another man wipe rubbing alcohol on his knuckles. Had it been anyone else, Joe would’ve pushed them away, but even before their minds opened up to each other no one knew him better than AJ. History spanning back to their early twenties and traveling together, poking fun at each other or talking about All Japan. If AJ wants to play nurse, so be it.

“You didn’t have to come out of your way for me.”

“Shut up,” AJ responds.

“Where did you come from anyway?”

A quick shake of the head. “Don’t you worry about that.”

“I’ll just find out later; I don’t know why you’re playing games.”

“Shut up.”

“All right Al, suit yourself.” Joe shrugs, knowing that soon enough AJ’s mind would be an open book and he could just ask again. One of the only perks of this arrangement is AJ’s sudden inability to lie to him, and Joe definitely takes advantage of it.  “You probably don’t want to head back there though.”

AJ lets out a little chuckle and smiles at him. “That an invite?”

“I’m ten minutes from here, pretty sure that’s a better option.” Another shrug, before reaching out and shoving AJ. “If you’re gonna be smug about it, then you could just go back to where you came from. No skin off my back.”

He knows what word is going through AJ’s head without having to read his mind. Before their minds linked, he taunted him with it out loud everywhere from the Impact Zone to Tokyo; afterwards, it was crazy how many times the word slipped into his head. _Softie_.

Joe fucking hated it, and now that his best friend knew that, he said it and thought it all the more.

***

_Joe’s caught between two arms, feels himself being pulled in close. Bodies pressing together as their lips meet. Both their chests are bare. It’s soundless, as if the world paused for the both of them. There’s no sound of flesh slapping together, no blare of nearby TVs or outside traffic, not even a sign of a lone bug flying through the room. Just utter silence._

_He doesn’t recognize the room at all. The white wallpaper with blue stars, the unmade bed behind his best friend’s body. Joe pushes AJ back against the mattress, grinning as AJ blinks in surprise_. _Without a word, he leans over him, running a hand down from AJ's chest to his stomach, and kisses him again._ _Deeper._

_“What're you thinkin', big guy?”_

_AJ’s mouth wasn’t matching the words; they just appeared in his head, much like AJ’s meditation did earlier. And yet there were no other thoughts. Joe couldn’t pick up AJ’s opinion on this, on him, on the man leaning over him. Joe pulls away and smirks, it turning into a grin when AJ smiles at him._

_“That I want this, but I also want to have a little fun.” Joe presses a quick kiss to those lips as his mind gives off those thoughts. “With you.” Another kiss. This time, slipping his tongue in as the words shine through. He can feel AJ’s against his, a groan in his throat that never comes to pass. “Right now.”_

“ _Can't see anythin' stopping you.” AJ’s hands go to his own waistline, Joe’s eyes trailing down to the tent there._ _After a moment, he moves his hand upward, trailing it over his own stomach_. _Teasing him._ “ _Come get me.”_

_Joe’s lips curl inward as he watches, breaking back to a grin at the dare. AJ presses off the bed, leaning up to kiss him again. Joe can’t help but shove him back down, suck on his tongue. Still, he can’t hear anything. Not the bed, not a whine of pleasure of from AJ._ _Joe’s hands find his hips as they kiss, rolling to the side and pulling AJ over top of him. His mouth opens in a groan when AJ's erection presses against his thigh, and he feels his pressing against him, but no sound comes._

_“Jesus Christ.”_

Joe’s eyes snap open, breathing heavily. His hands reach back onto the bed, pushing himself up. He looks around, seeing his hotel room. The light peering through the blinds, the AC unit sputtering back to life to regulate the temperature, his bag opened on the floor, contents neatly piled. The TV, off, and a clock next to it reading 6:45. Joe’s eyes scanned the room, past the bathroom, to the recliner in the corner AJ had slept in.

AJ took the desk chair last night, creating a makeshift bed, his legs up on the chair and his body back on the recliner. Joe had thrown him a pillow and a blanket; he’d considered offering him the bed, particularly considering his back, but he’d wanted petty revenge for the way AJ considered him soft. A lucky call; Joe’s not sure how they would’ve handled this situation if they’d woken up beside one another.

AJ is upright, the pillow between his back and the recliner, the blanket sliding down onto his legs. Still wearing last night’s shirt. But he’s looking directly at Joe, eyes wide. Joe isn’t sure how to break the ice about what he saw… AJ dreaming about him? Surely if AJ felt anything for him, he would’ve picked it up by now. They’d spent too much time feeding into each other’s minds for him to miss that. Yet Joe had seen what he’d seen, and he was sure AJ knew it too.

“We don’t gotta talk about it,” AJ mutters, breaking eye contact and confirming his suspicions.

“Sure.” The connection is broken, and Joe wishes he could peer into AJ’s mind. Hear his thoughts about what they both just shared.

“It’s just a dream. You don’t… you don’t gotta explain nothing to me.”

_To you?_ Joe stares at him, trying to make sense of that last comment. Now he really wishes the connection would flair back up, let him sort through AJ’s thoughts. AJ’s barely looking at him, kicking the chair away and dumping the blanket on the floor. He took off his pants the night before, and Joe watches as he picks the sweats up off the floor.

“Al… you know you’re my best friend, right? I don’t care…”

AJ turns back to him, shaking his head. “You just had a dream. M’sorry I peeked in at the wrong time, but… it’s okay. I have weird sex dreams sometimes too. We’ve never talked about it before, and we don’t gotta now.”

Joe blinks, unable to believe the audacity. Oh, so it’s _his_ dream now. He chuckles. “Sure, Al, sure.”

AJ’s focused on getting dressed, and if anything, that’s the proof. AJ’s the one that can’t stand to look at him. And yet… he thinks of that sudden, sharp _Jesus Christ_ that broke through the illusion of their make out. That was AJ, but Joe had no clue what made him even think it. One moment, their dream selves were teasing each other, and the next they’re here.

That had to be AJ’s dream. Joe knows his own mind; he has never thought of AJ in that way. He didn’t know why AJ felt the need to turn it around on him, but if that’s what AJ needs to believe to preserve their friendship, then so be it.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing that hits Joe is the sound of labored breathing.

His eyes are shut, legs crossed, breathing steady. The feeling of hotel carpet isn’t exactly conducive to meditation, but he has done it on less forgiving surfaces. Following his papa’s voice after a long day of performing, letting go of the emotions dance could bring up. It would find second life when Joe became a wrestler, Joe fondly looking back at his Zero-1 days and the feeling of a sharp slap on his shoulder when he let his mind wander through meditation. Maybe emptying his mind opens it up more easily to connection, because the sound intrudes through his state, giving him something new to focus on

It’s so close. Even closer than if someone were shoulder to shoulder, breathing by his ear; it’s as if his own lungs were struggling, the sound reverberating through his body. He knows what this is, his mind reaching out for AJ’s, but even the knowledge cannot prepare him for what comes next.

Pain.

Joe shouts out, eyes wide open. His hands shoot out to the floor, catching his body as his back arches. Oh, fuck. AJ’s back. Joe breathing deeply, remembering AJ’s long standing issues with his lower back. In AJ’s thoughts, he can almost see exactly what happened to him. The sound of AJ falling to the ground, the moment of impact.

_“DO FUCKING HICKS NOT BELIEVE IN PERCS OR IS IT JUST YOU?”_

Joe doesn’t need an answer; AJ’s mind is already giving it to him. AJ plans to _sleep this off_. Maybe it was harsh, considering his past, but harsh was also AJ choosing to hang from a briefcase. A forty-year-old man who doesn’t take breaks and gets thrown around needs to consider his body in more ways than one. Especially a forty-year-old man who shared his sensations with another.

_“TAKE A FUCKING PILL ALLEN I SWEAR TO GOD.”_

_“M’okay.”_

_“I am in your mind what fucking good is lying to me?!”_ Joe’s nails dig into the ground, feeling that phantom pain. Right now, it’s the realest thing in the world. Joe forcing himself to his feet, to the bed in the middle of the room. He needs some relief. At the same time, AJ honestly thinks _I’m not_ and hisses in pain, both filling his mind at the same time. What good was lying to himself?

_“You’re not going to sleep if you don’t take some medicine. Fuck, I’m not going to sleep if you don’t take some goddamn medicine. You won’t be…”_

He doesn’t have to finish. The thought is already clear in AJ’s mind and there’s nothing Joe can do to take it back. Joe can feel the sadness, burning in his stomach, alongside the physical pain. AJ can already hear the apology too, but Joe’s not sure he cares about it.

_“Please take something. Whatever you have.”_

The last sentence brings the worst of it to the forefront of AJ’s thoughts. Of course he doesn’t have anything on him.

Joe grabs onto the bed, forcing himself to his feet with a grunt. If he can feel this, then maybe…

_“I don’t think it works like that.”_

_“Shut up_.” Joe’s not sure either but he doesn’t care. He has to do something, for both their sakes. His feet move just fine, but his back is still aching. _“You’re fucking forty, Al.”_

_“Yeah, I know, screw you.”_

_“You’re doing a fucking amazing job of that right now, thanks_.” Joe nearly rips his duffel bag open, tossing the shirts on top until he finds a plastic bag with pentagon shaped pills and a paper with his prescription. Joe doesn’t even look for water; he pops open the bag and grabs one, tossing it into his mouth. Swallowing it dry. They usually work pretty fast, but on his pain… he’s not sure if the connection will help dull it on AJ’s side.

_“I couldn’t do that.”_

_“Yeah, I know, you chew tylenol.”_ Joe lets out a chuckle before making his way to the bed, letting himself fall. He knew that before he was in AJ’s mind, having seen it once on the fairgrounds. A trainer glaring at AJ, telling him that they’re less efficient that way. As if he were five. But AJ didn’t take enough medicine to grow comfortable swallowing them whole. His own hang up, something Joe couldn’t possibly be aware of until AJ couldn’t hide anything from him. Like the thought he just had now.

_“Don’t judge me.”_

Joe nods. He’d never make fun of that. A simple, sincere “I miss him.” Joe, of course, knows that kind of grief, but his own father was nothing like… fuck. Joe trying to think of anything else rather than what he knows about… Joe shakes his head, trying to clear the thoughts.

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“You can’t help what you think, I guess.”_ But Joe can feel that pit in his gut, the way it weighs on him. Trying not to be judgmental in life was rough enough without AJ being able to catch the ones that flit through his mind. _“Hey, Joe.”_

 _“Yeah?”_ Joe asks, but he smiles, already knowing what AJ wants to say. _You’re gonna wrestle Brock Lesnar_. Had it really only been a couple years ago that Joe assumed his career would never go further than Universal Studios? AJ wasn’t all that older than him; what was true about his body was true about Joe’s as well. And yet they were here, now, and their time to impress was so much further along than it had any right to be.

_“Correction, I’m gonna kill Brock Lesnar.”_

_“Ooh, scary.”_

_“Fuck you.”_

Joe can feel the pill start to work, a little looseness in his arms. AJ’s pain and Joe’s own sensations existing at the same time, neither more prominent than the other. It was hard for Joe to find words for, the pendulum dipping between sharp pain and the lightness so often that Joe felt both and neither. Joe doesn’t have to ask, but he does anyway.

_“You okay?”_

_“Uh huh.”_

Joe stares up at the ceiling. AJ’s voice echoes, as if he were right next to him, and yet Joe is all alone. Worse… Joe knows the moment the connection breaks, Joe will be alone with the relaxant and AJ will take his back pain onto himself. No one to take care of him. Not like the stubborn hick would ask for help, anyway.

_“Ouch.”_

Joe smirks at the ceiling. _“You know what you are.”_

Joe can see AJ’s thoughts racing, between the relief the connection provided to his own stubborn stance on medication. AJ considering Joe’s concern as well. _He’d be angry if I didn’t do something_. Damn right he would be, Joe thinks, and he knows that somewhere in a hotel room in St. Louis AJ is laughing at him. The exact hotel pops into his mind. It was strange, their minds answering questions for them that neither of them vocalized, but Joe had grown used to this.

_“You want me to call someone?”_

AJ already knows the answer, and with that, his mind is made up. Cycling through people who could possibly help.

_“Nakamura has chronic problems with his shoulder. He might have something. You two are cool, right?”_

_“Define cool.”_

_“Shut up and call him.”_

AJ decides to text instead; Joe hopes they’re still connected by the time Nakamura answers the message. Hoping that he’s not asleep, resting off his own fatigue from the ladder match. His mind flips to other possible candidates. Sami Zayn comes to mind—Canadian drugs did tend to be stronger, a thought which earns AJ’s disapproval.

 _“It’s okay, momma bear.”_ Joe snarls—there he goes again. Another nickname, Samoa Bear, this one gifted to him from the girls in TNA. Now that Sarah was an agent he gets it all the time on the road, and it only took one time linked for AJ to latch onto it again. Had it been anyone else, Joe would’ve popped them once in the mouth, reminded them who he is. For AJ, he makes an exemption… well, maybe because AJ truly does know he is. _“I promise I’ll get somebody.”_

 _“You better_.”

Joe picks up his own phone, putting an alarm on it. A reminder to check in on AJ. But he’s not lying about getting someone, at least not this time. No thoughts cross his mind of fooling Joe

 _“You don’t gotta check on me_.”

Joe rolls his eyes at that. “ _Yeah I do.”_

The words thank you appear in his head, and Joe smiles. AJ actually does appreciate this. He can tell already AJ prefers the company to psychically medicating him, but Joe did the only thing he could think to do. They’re both already much more relaxed, even though they’ve done absolutely nothing to physically soothe AJ’s pain.

_“Hey, Al?”_

_“Please don’t.”_

Sometimes he truly hated that AJ knew his mind. The thought already in AJ’s mind before Joe could vocalize it, even though it was a sharp change in subject. It seemed harsher, without Joe being able to explain the sudden thought.

_“Last time we were together, we shared a dream.”_

_“I know.”_

They’d been in each other’s minds since then, and Joe found not an answer, but more questions. AJ truly believed Joe had the dream, and now AJ knew Joe truly believed that AJ did. Joe was usually so good at differentiating their thoughts but this, the image of them together… he’s no longer sure where it originated and the question lingers in the back of his mind, for more reflection once Joe has a free moment. And from every time their minds link, Joe also knows AJ’s growing increasingly uncomfortable with Joe’s need to figure out what happened.

Joe knows AJ’s own thoughts about it too, despite AJ’s attempts to shield them from him. Embarrassment. Confusion. AJ would prefer they get further from it, for the memory to eventually be buried in their minds, but neither of them can control it. Joe’s own ruminations feeding AJ’s confusion and AJ’s confusion feeding Joe’s ruminations, creating a cycle neither could fully wrestle out from.

“ _What does it matter who had the dream, Joe?_ ” AJ doesn’t mean that, and his thoughts betray him. He’s been thinking about it and what it means for either one of them if they had the dream. “ _We had it. I mean… we don’t have to make it a thing_.”

Except it is a thing, AJ’s thoughts there no matter how much he tries not to. Decades of Christian dogma making sex a more sacred act to him than it ever was to Joe, and he puts a lot more stock on this than he wants to say. He wants it to just be a wet dream, but AJ doesn’t believe in “just a wet dream”. If one of them had a sex dream about the other, well, then that person must like the other person. And the worst part of it is, AJ knows that Joe knows all this.

It’s messing him up and maybe Joe shouldn’t push but he can’t help himself. Not when both of them need to know.

“ _Is that it, Al? You think I like you? Or maybe that you like me?”_

_“I don’t know.”_

And suddenly, he’s gone. Without AJ’s sensations, Joe feels heavy, more than ready to fall into slumber. And yet his mind is still on AJ, his aching back and the talk they were only starting to have. Fuck. He doesn’t know if he can stay awake like this. He hadn’t thought about how much stronger the drug would feel once AJ was gone.

Joe reaches for his phone, going to AJ’s contact. A photo of him, Joe, and their two best friends. They gathered around the phone on a beach in California, making stupid faces at the screen. They used to all take care of one another, when they all worked together, and they still do even now that they were split in half. Hard to believe how much had changed and yet how much stayed the same since the photo was taken.

_Text me when Shinsuke responds_

_I swear to god Al I’ll fuck you up if you don’t_

Half of Joe wants to resume the conversation, but not like this. Not when AJ might feel empowered to lie to him. It takes a moment for the phone to vibrate in his hands, a new gray bubble popping up on his screen. Another, within seconds of the first.

_I promise_

_Samoa bear_

“Fucking hick,” Joe whispers at the phone, smiling. He’s not sure when he falls asleep, but when Joe wakes up the next morning well past his alarm, he has three texts, each from his best friend. Doing exactly as he promised.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, this chapter is... weird. I liked the idea but I'm not sure of the execution. I tried. I hope you enjoy this.

It would be just his luck for AJ to catch into his mind as he quietly made his way over. Years as a dancer made it easy for Joe to be soft footed, to not make a sound at all, but not even Joe could turn off his thoughts. And yet as he stares at AJ’s long hair, his easy demeanor as he chats with a longtime friend, nothing comes.

Xavier spotted him, but he doesn’t have to worry about being snitched on. Xavier can appreciate a good rib; in a dead end situation, they did all they could to keep spirits up, including playing jokes on each other. Sometimes Joe can’t believe how well this went for so many of them. They’re here: him, AJ, Xavier, Bobby, Eric. And for Joe, he’s wrestling Brock Lesnar on Sunday.

Once he’s close enough, his arm loops around AJ’s neck, forearm pressing into his neck. AJ’s body pressed into his, close. His other hand rests on AJ’s shoulder, hand grasping his head as AJ gasps out. Hard enough to get AJ off kilter, for AJ’s toes to skim the floor, but not enough to actually choke him out.

AJ laughs; if anyone’s been in this hold enough to recognize it without looking, it’s AJ. Xavier’s own laugh is louder; hands on his belly, half bent over. Joe can feel a hand tap against his arm and he lets go. Unable to keep from joining in the mirth.

“God you’re so dumb.” AJ talks as he turns around, and suddenly, his arms are around Joe. Considering the weirdness around them lately, Joe wasn’t expecting such a warm reception, but he’d take it. His own hands pressing into AJ’s back. They’d been through so much, too much to let a wet dream ruin them.

“How you doing Joe?” The sound of Xavier’s voice makes Joe and AJ break apart. He turns to his other friend, hands clapping together before they pull each other in, shoulders meeting in a half hug. It was nice to be on the same show as the people he knows for once. Joe hadn’t exactly endeared himself to anyone on the RAW roster, but Joe could see the end in the distance. Officially further from that first time in Anaheim than he was from his last time, Joe couldn’t afford to kiss the asses of a bunch of people—mostly in their fucking twenties—who would happily take his place. He was fine with a set circle.

Joe has enough friends, and for the first time since Wrestlemania, they were all together. In New York City. Honestly, he couldn’t ask for more. This is the most important weekend of his life, and it feels damn good to start it off we a bunch of people he knows and cares about.

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Me and E have our eye on Koreatown. Barbecue, karaoke… I’m _trying_ to convince AJ to come with, maybe you can help…”

“Offer him the first Long Island, he’ll come ‘round.” AJ puts a hand on his shoulder, shoving. “What? I’ll buy the second one.”

***

The liquor opens up their minds fairly quickly, and it doesn’t take long for Joe to realize an incredible perk to being connected while eating Korean bbq and drinking. The secondary tastes on his tongue, the quick buzz. Joe can feel the gentle heaviness on AJ’s brow from the liquor, as he knows AJ can feel the gentle tingle in his fingers. He can taste AJ’s bulgogi and kimchi like AJ can taste his galbi.

_“Oh you gotta try that, Al. Pour a little bit on your lettuce wrap.”_

AJ does as he’s told, shooting Joe a grin when he tastes it, cheeks stuffed with the food he just put in.  Joe can taste it too, knows his prediction was on point.

_“Did you have the pork belly? Grab a piece before E eats it all.”_

AJ is laughing with him about their shared taste buds, even beyond the meal. The scent of fish and hot garbage wafes through the Midtown street, but no one around them seems fazed by the scent, going straight into brightly lit bars and lounges. AJ and Joe both have spent a lot of time in New York City, but neither of them were truly city boys: every moment Joe didn’t travel with the family’s troupe, he spent on the beach, and AJ’s childhood went from a trailer park to small town life.

AJ punches his arm, glaring at him, and Joe smiles sheepishly at him.

_“Look, you can’t blame me for half-baked thoughts.”_

_“I bet you looked real cute when you danced, huh? Did you wear the grass skirt? Were you too young to twirl fire?”_

Joe’s not ashamed of his past, but the mocking tone brings to mind memories of being small, of doing his best when his father needed him. AJ can see it just as well, a smile crossing his face at the sight.

_“That cute little dancing cub gonna topple Brock Lesnar?”_

_“I swear to god Al you’re so fucking annoying…”_ Joe catches something else when he says it, and he can see AJ already blushing. “ _Is it weird? Does it feel like you’re cursing for once?_ ”

Joe knows the story without AJ to guide him through it, but it’s nice to hear AJ make sense of his jumble of thoughts. That was the major drawback of this connection—AJ and Joe could hear each other’s unfinished and unformed thoughts. Joe knows, when he steps back, that they all think cruel things, or rude things, or things they don’t believe… but hearing them from AJ hurts nonetheless. His best friend, judging him.

“ _The first time I heard you think a curse, I thought it was me. I couldn’t figure it out. Did I suddenly want to? I’d spent so long dismissing those words as the kind no one should say around good people. I even tried it out. Fuck. What an ugly word. It seems crude, ya know? Like you don’t got respect for the person you’re sayin’ it to.”_

_“Not for nothing, Al, but that sounds like horseshit.”_

_“We don’t gotta agree. That’s just me.”_

_“You got a weird view on what constitutes a curse. You can at least admit that.”_

_“Don’t you dare.”_

_“I don’t even gotta say it, do I?”_ Of course he doesn’t, and AJ punches his arm again. _“Temper temper! You won’t say a little word but you’ll get violent?”_

_“I hate you.”_

_“Liar.”_

Joe catches Xavier and E exchange glances, with E twirling his finger by his ear. Joe realizes he and AJ barely verbalized their messages at all, having a secret conversation Xavier and E wouldn’t even know they had. How would he explain it? The jokes are all in their heads? They understand each other with just a look.

_“Maybe we should talk more.”_

It’s a great thought, look a little less foolish to their friends. “So, Joe. What’re you singing tonight? I know you have a thing for…”

Joe punches him in the arm before he can finish his sentence, but the thought is already formed.

***

The drunker they get, the less Joe is sure what thoughts are his and what are AJ’s. One of them had the original idea to sing Circle of Life, but they’re both walking to sign their names to the list at the same time. They devolve to giggles, knowing each other’s reason for being there too easily.

_“Was it you?”_

_“Fuck if I know.”_

Joe’s positive he’s seeing double, once through his own eyes and once through AJ’s, all at the same time. AJ hears the thought and isn’t sure he believes it, but he’s hearing double instead of seeing, everything with a gentle echo. Xavier’s talking to them, grinning, but both of them find it hard to pay attention.

“Dude, you okay?”

Two sets of mouths move in unison, one right in front of Joe, the other in his… in AJ’s peripherals. Joe nods and also sees himself nodding, a very familiar tanned body somehow also right next to him. _Holy shit_. When they’d gotten drunk before 2016, there was very little overlap in those times. In the past year, Joe’s sure they must’ve been drunk at the same time, but Joe’s never tapped into AJ’s sense of sight. Touch had been first though, and it made sense eventually they’d have more grasp of each other’s minds.

“AJ, I think he’s messed up. He’s having a hard time looking at me…”

“I got him.” AJ knows what Joe knows, and Joe’s done looking like an idiot to their friends. “Joe, you ready to…”

It’s a formality, and Joe treats it as such, getting up. A mistake… the way they’re facing each other now, Joe sees a strange circle, Xavier to his left and right, AJ and himself both in front of him, switching between AJ’s body and his own. His own confusion palpable, he sees his own head tilt and sees AJ move his hand across his neck, motioning for him to stop.

“It’s been a blast.” Joe says, trying to figure out which Xavier was the one in his sight and the one in AJ’s. He doesn’t want to hold his hand out to empty air.

_“He’s to your left.”_

_“Are you sure? You want to make the Ls with your fingers?”_

Still, Joe reaches out, and Xavier slaps his hand. One Xavier reaches for the spot both him and AJ are standing in, but only the phantom Joe slaps his hand. AJ’s glaring at him, but Joe deserves a little joy when his perception is all messed up.

Joe’s hand grasps AJ’s arm, yanking him to his side. Facing the same direction, the world becomes a lot less kaleidoscopic, the images almost merging into one. _Lead the way_ , he thinks as AJ takes that initiative. If AJ moves too far, the edges of his and Joe’s sight begin to diverge, the people becoming a strange venn diagram of a being. Every light in the New York sky seems to pull apart into an eight and then snap back to a bright circle with each step.

_“God I’m happy it’s just my hearing. Are you okay?”_

Joe doesn’t let go of AJ’s arm as he hails a cab, keeping close to his best friend. Their inner arms pressed together, Joe’s fingers grasped around AJ’s forearm. Trying to keep their eyes on the same places. Even tilting his head or looking downwards pulled reality into two parallel images.

_“Close your eyes.”_

Joe almost hits himself for not thinking of it. He closes his eyes and all he can see is out of AJ’s. AJ is looking at him right now. His mouth is open slightly; Joe can see himself trying to breathe, to gain control. His eyes are shut tight, wrinkles in his lids and by his eyes. AJ’s eyes linger on him before turning back to the street, arm up as cars rush by him.

While Joe can see the car they’re going to get into clearly, once AJ’s arm slips out of his grasp and he slides inside, all he can see is himself on the outside. His shin hits the bottom of the yellow car when it’s his turn to go inside, and Joe watches himself suck in a breah. _“Wait, idea.”_ AJ follows through with Joe’s idea, his eyes closing while Joe’s open, allowing him to understand where he is.

“If you throw up in my car, it’s extra.”

“I understand. We wouldn’t want to mess up your car,” AJ assures him, before giving him the address. Eyes still closed.

_“I don’t think I look that bad.”_

_“Yeah, but someone having trouble getting into a car is kind of questionable, no?”_

Joe can concede that point. He takes a breath before shutting his eyes too, welcoming the darkness. His head leans back against the seat. Their connection lets AJ know to keep his own eyes closed as well. They seem to breathe in unison, AJ mimicking Joe’s attempts to control his senses.

_“I don’t mean to.”_

_“I know. I know.”_

Joe can’t pinpoint who had the thought first this time either, both their hands going to the seat between them, fingertips barely touching.

_“Is this better?”_

Joe nods. AJ can’t see him or the movement, but he doesn’t have to. At this point, there was nothing Joe could do but accept whatever happened to them, learn how to deal with their minds being so open. Especially if this ability was expanding to their other senses.

_“That scares me. What if we just… can’t separate anymore? What if we get too entangled?”_

_“What if we can learn how to control it?”_

_“Even worse. You in my head whenever you feel like it? Screw that.”_

Joe laughs at that, from his belly, his body shaking at that. He bets the cab driver glared at them, the strange guy with his eyes shut, laughing aloud. A mere inch from holding AJ’s hand.

When they get there, Joe opens his eyes first, getting out, and then closes them so AJ can pay for the cab. Joe waits until he feels AJ’s arm loop with his and they walk together, toward AJ’s own room. At this point, it’s fairly quiet in the hotel, lights bright but no one passing by them.

_“I can take you to your room.”_

_“Nah, don’t go out your way. Just shut your eyes once you’re inside. We can take turns until one of us is asleep or until we’re out of each other’s minds.”_

AJ nods, accepting the response. Once they make it to his room, AJ looks back at him again, and Joe can see himself in AJ’s eyes. He’s worried about him. AJ was weighing out inviting him inside, but the last time they shared a room, the weird dream happened. And their minds were more open to one another than ever before. It would be best for Joe to stumble to his room and check on AJ the next morning.

Joe swallows, realizing that AJ wasn’t just weighing out inviting him in… AJ thinks _Joe’s_ the one who wants an invitation. Both of them are reading it from each other’s minds, and now neither are sure of the person who first thought it. Is it really him who wants in the room, or AJ? How could neither of them discern who wanted Joe in the room in front of them?

Joe can’t help but open his eyes, looking at AJ. His own confused face right alongside AJ’s. He can see his own reaction to seeing AJ’s face, his eyes widening slightly, his teeth chewing on his lower lip. He’s never been so privy to the way he looked to someone else, and there he was. Even if Joe couldn’t read his mind, from the small glimpses at AJ’s face, Joe would know everything. AJ was always an open book, even without being able to read his mind. And right now, AJ’s confused. AJ’s scared. AJ has a theory.

_“What if we can’t tell whose thought it is because we both had the same thought individually? That we both want you inside? The way you are, I am kinda afraid to leave ya alone.”_

Joe can see his own head nod.

_“If we can’t tell because we both had the thought…”_

Joe doesn’t finish the thought. They both move at the same time, almost mimicking each other, their lips pressing together. AJ tip toeing up, Joe’s arms around his warm back, helping push him up. AJ’s eyes close shortly after, the image of a second Joe disappearing, and all Joe can see is his best friend. He tastes like rum and lemons, his tongue pressing against his lips. For a moment, their thoughts almost quiet as they press in harder.

They’re both breathing heavily. AJ’s heels fall back onto the floor and he steps back against the door, away from Joe’s hands. His arms linger where AJ once was, Joe blinking as he realizes that his sight becomes his own again. Even as AJ’s eyes open, he can’t see out of them anymore. All he can see is AJ’s reddened lips, his wide eyes.

_“The echo’s gone too.”_

Joe nods. This had started when they were furthest from each other, on the opposite sides of the world, and the idea that being close had eased their symptoms made a sort of sense to Joe. Could that be a cure? He could almost laugh at the idea. That kissing AJ could fix anything, much less this strange thing that happened to them.

_“I don’t know why I did that.”_

_“You don’t gotta know.”_ Joe thinks, knowing that AJ can tell that he feels the exact same. It’s too much to think about right now. Maybe that kiss was just their way of confirming if either of them could have the kind of feelings that could lead to a dream like that. Maybe neither of them had feelings at all, but seeing other dreams opened them up to that experience.

_“You really think this happened because we were far?”_

_“I don’t know. It was probably just a coincidence. It’s only gotten stronger since you’ve gotten back to America, no?”_

AJ nods, staring at him. _“I should… bed.”_

 _“Yeah.”_ Joe nods as well. Neither of their lips are moving, both just staring at one another. Not sure how to act now that the weird dream neither could explain bled into real life. AJ finally turns to the door, and then looks back at Joe, that one thought they shared just moments ago flitting through his head.

_“Al. You’re not ready for that. We’ll talk in the morning.”_

AJ nods again, and it feels like it’s all they can do. Move their heads. Joe watches as AJ goes into his room, the idea of stopping the door going through his head. AJ catches that thought of course, and Joe knows AJ is on the other side of the door, staring at it, wondering if he’d made the right decision.

Joe forces himself to move. One of them has to be sure, Joe thinks. One of them has to take control of this situation. If AJ let himself, he could be crushed by the uncertainty of whatever’s happening between them, and Joe cannot let the same happen to him.

_“Joe, it’s okay. No need to pretend. I hear you, remember? We can figure it out together.”_


	4. Chapter 4

_I want to talk before we go to the airport_

_But we can’t hear each other_

_So?_

_I don’t want you to plan what you’re going to say to me_

_Or me to you._

_You don’t trust me to be honest?_

_I do_

_But I want you to help sort through my mind_

_Please Al_

_Fine_

               

                Joe hopes that their connection jigs back up in the cab, as they head to LaGuardia, but nothing. He stares at AJ’s head pulling for something to break through. Sure, he stood by what his said in the text, but at the same time he’s so curious. What if AJ came to some conclusion last night? What if that was circling around his head?

                Did the connection have something to do with it? In their times connected, Joe never picked up that AJ might be attracted to him. Joe heard his thoughts about his former fiancée, a couple exes, and even a few lonely night fantasies that he got a good laugh at, AJ too abashed to keep pleasuring himself once Joe was his audience. Once AJ got to Japan… really, once they connected… AJ hadn’t held down any steady relationships for very long, a few three month romances AJ would’ve rather Joe never learned of. AJ was the kind of man who _always_ had someone on the hook, and even now, he denies that his good buddy Karl would probably give a lung to hold AJ once. But being that far, AJ didn’t feel comfortable setting up roots.

                Joe had been single longer, and for utter lack of trying. He didn’t want to waste time on some cuffing season tide over. He felt too old to date, too old to try to decipher games. Which is probably why he wants to hear AJ’s thoughts when they discuss last night. Joe’s arms around AJ’s waist. The feeling of AJ’s beard against his chin. The way AJ gently stepped out of his arms and they just hovered where he left them.

                Joe’s also too old to make a new best friend.

                AJ grabs his hand as they get into the airport, and Joe turns to look at him. “You know,” he says quietly, “If we don’t talk now, we won’t be in the same place for a while.”

                Joe nods. The idea of being in the same room as AJ is also tempting, except he’s not sure that’s as important as being present in each other’s minds. But maybe it is to AJ. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to mess this up. Had he gotten too used to AJ’s mind spelling things out for him. “I’ll come to you if I have to. We’ll both be in Texas the next few days. Shouldn’t be too hard.”

                AJ’s brow furrows. “Texas is huge.”

                “Good thing we’re used to long drives, huh?”

***

                Joe doesn’t connect to AJ Saturday at all. Sunday begins to go by with nothing as well. Joe breaks his vow not to look at his phone—the well wishes weren’t exactly conducive to being a destroyer—to see if AJ had attempted to get in contact with him at all. Skimming the various texts for AJ’s name, brow furrowing when he doesn’t find it.

                AJ’s known him long enough to know his pre match rituals, but Joe deserves a little more than radio silence after their night. He considers buying some alcohol on his way back to the hotel room, hopefully to help open up his mind. Being drunk worked so well for him last time. For a moment, he remembers being in the cab. The world dark, the only things real the jostle of Manhattan traffic and AJ’s fingertips grazing his. It would’ve been so easy, to move his hand only slightly closer…

                Fuck.

                Joe needs to focus.

                And its mid match when he realizes he’s not alone in his head. Whatever sensations must’ve been hard to feel between each suplex, but he can feel something else, something he had no idea either he or AJ felt very often.

                _Fear_.

                Fear as he was pinned to the mat. Fear, barely dissipating as Joe went to the back. He waits to hear AJ’s thoughts but the connection is threadbare, enough to feel this fear and probably for AJ to feel every time Joe’s shoulders and neck slammed into the mat. More. Joe needs more, needs to follow this emotion and find out what could be going on.

                Joe breathes heavy as he digs through his bag for his phone. Taking it out, immediately scanning down to AJ’s contact. Nothing. No messages.

_What’s going on_

_Allen call me_

                Joe gets a text message moments later, and it makes his eyes narrow.

_You should buy ice my shoulders are killing me_

“Fuck you!” He shouts, and then he remembers he’s not alone. People are staring at him in various stages of dress, eyes wide, brows raised. People he's made enemies of, like Rollins, tense and fists clenched in case the words are aimed at them. “Mind your business,” he snaps at the closest person, Titus O'Neil, who takes a step back and holds his hands between them.

                "Hey we cool," He mutters, not taking his eyes off Joe. In case he hits him, probably.

                "Shut up," Joe says, softer, before turning back to his phone. Reading the text again. God, he can't wait until the connection becomes stronger. He presses the back button, scrolling past Traci, Jessie, and Frankie's names, his finger catching the one that says Xavier.

_You with AJ?_

                Joe's pants are on when he gets a response.

_Yeah kicking his ass in tekken_

_why whats up_

                Joe puts on his sneakers, considering his response. What about Tekken could've scared him? Something isn't adding up. And he's so caught up in the first text, he almost forgets the second. The _why_ would Joe have Xavier check up on AJ. A breath. Definitely a conversation better had with AJ than with Xavier. If AJ wants to play games, AJ can explain to their friend why Joe texted him.

***

                _"This thing on?"_

_"Ha ha very funny."_

_"You still with Xavier?"_

No, the answer comes with ease. Xavier went to hang out with Kofi and Big E, and AJ went to his room in anticipation of this. The moment they stopped just feeling each other physically and could hear one another. He's in a tub; soaking... he wasn't kidding about the shoulders, though Joe knows that better than anyone, lying on a heating pad nearly eight hours away.

                Texas really is huge.

                _"Brock's no joke_." AJ offers, but Joe's mind immediately brings up his own concern. The fear he felt before. AJ catches it immediately, and despite AJ's best efforts, neither of them is very good at hiding things from each other anymore. It's virtually impossible. Every single thought laid bare, and this one... well, this one makes Joe's heart drop.

                " _Me, Al? You were afraid of me?"_

_"That was kinda intense. Being in your mind while you were wrestling. Is it like that all the time?"_

Joe shrugs, and immediately regrets the action, hissing. Eyes shut as he breathes. He can hear AJ sharing the moment, AJ splashing water out of the tub from however he moved. _"Sorry_."

                _"About that or the mind stuff?"_

_"I can't really be sorry about that. You know who I am, Al. Better than anyone. It's probably been you on the other side of that ring the most."_

_"You point that anger at me?"_

The truth is, yes. As an opponent, it's utterly easy to hate AJ. Even more so when he's in touch with his morals. A man who can walk into any given locker room and find himself on top with ease. At least at his worst moments, he admits it.

                _"Wow, read me the riot act."_

_"I'm not thinking anything you haven’t heard before. We all work harder than you to get just a piece of what you have. Not to say you're not good..."_

_"Chris has done this speech to death. Verbally. In front of everyone. I don't need it beamed into my head."_

_"You asked."_ Joe can't help but think of AJ's face, all grumpy in his hot bath. Smiling at the image. _"Hey, Al?"_

_"You wanna talk about it."_

_"Yeah I do. And you're mad at me for not being there for this."_

_"Yeah I am."_

Honest communication. Even with their thoughts snitching on them, they've both tried to avoid the truth in the past, and it’s kind of nice to see neither of them is doing so right now. Not fighting this conversation.

                  _"M'hard headed."_ It sounds so earnest, echoing in Joe's brain. _"But I learn."_

Joe nods at the air; almost wishing he could've seen AJ as he thought those words. He'd wanted to wait, but now that he has, he just wishes AJ were by him. Talking face to face. He waits to glean an 'I told you so', but surprisingly enough, AJ doesn't think that at all. No, instead he's thinking about them two days ago. About Joe's arms around his waist.

                _"I kissed you. Impulse. I wanted to. I thought, if we did it, it would make that dream clearer, you know?"_

_"I thought the same thing."_ Joe's glad they're on the same page.   _"That... if I kissed you it would all make sense in my head."_

And Joe knows, in a moment. He knows so quickly that it takes him a moment to sort every conflict in the other man's thoughts. His eyes shut as he hears multiple thoughts, all at once. It's a jumble still to AJ, but Joe can see every piece like a puzzle: the border pieces set and the middle pieces all-visible but not yet put into the framework properly. That it felt nice. That AJ, too, wasn't prepared to find a new best friend. That he'd spent the past couple of days worried that the move would ruin them. He wasn't just angry Joe waited... he thought Joe was looking for a way to put him down. Fear. Somehow, he'd missed those thoughts the first time around, hidden behind the honesty of his other fears.

                Joe feels a lump in his throat. His temples pound, and Joe wonders if he can take another painkiller so soon. AJ's thoughts make him feel sick, and his lips part as he breathes heavily. This is too important to screw up. This is too important to have let fester. Joe had gotten too used to this connection to read what was right in front of him. And he used to be so good at that, too.

                A swallow, and now that he understands his best friend, he can't help the one thought he has in response.

                _"I want to kiss you again."_

                The noise slows down, a roar to a whisper. Joe's words replay in AJ's head, back at Joe. They're the only thing AJ's thinking about, but not a true echo. Each run through with a different inflection. I want to kiss you again, sarcastic, the cruel tone cutting. I want to kiss you again? A question. Unsure. Yet Joe can tell, without having to interject, that AJ believes neither were Joe's purpose. No, AJ knows him.

                And finally, Joe hears his own words, except a different set from the version AJ was chewing on. Something he said two days ago, at the airport, when Joe should have had this conversation with him.

                _I’ll come to you if I have to. We’ll both be in Texas the next few days. Shouldn’t be too hard._

_"Tell me I have to."_ It's a gamble. Joe knows AJ's mind can't hide his response from him. The order will force AJ's true reaction for him, whether it be positive or negative. And AJ laughs, both disliking his tactics and giving in to the inevitability of their bond.

                _"You don’t have to. But I want you to."_


	5. Chapter 5

Driving across Texas makes Joe feel twenty again. His body makes him feel sixty.

AJ’s mind was open to him for half the ride; he was working out, alternating between concentrating and keeping Joe company. AJ’s own ride to San Antonio was nearly double Joe’s, yet he sympathizes with the aches of being on the road. The cramped knees, the need to stretch. AJ seemed almost surprised Joe was coming, despite being in Joe’s mind when he decided to come. He didn’t understand how they could still shock each other when they knew everything about one another.

Well. New York.

For the other half, it was just him, and the mounting anticipation… anxiety… fear of what was going to happen once he and AJ were back together. They were both still confused, though the word didn’t seem enough to describe what Joe was feeling for AJ, or what he’d felt from AJ’s mind. Neither of them being sure of the next move was enough to put Joe on edge, and yet there was something there that made him more than willing to follow this rabbit hole.

_"You don’t have to. But I want you to."_

Together. They could figure this out together.

Joe texts AJ once he drives into San Antonio, for any kind of direction. He’d go to the AT&T Center if AJ asked, wait for the show to end. But AJ has a different idea in mind, and once Joe reads it he can’t help but agree.

_If you come to sd the guys will wanna hang_

_Get food or something_

_I left a key for you at the front desk you can sleep too_

AJ basically speaks his language.

***

Joe’s not fully awake when AJ’s thoughts begin to seep in again.

The sound of wheels against carpeted floor. The sudden discomfort in his lower back. His heart feels like it’s beating faster, except it’s AJ’s, thumping through his being. His eyes slowly open to see AJ’s bag on the opposite bed, wheels on the white quilt. A lamp on the other side of the room is on, almost dark by Joe’s head but much more illuminated by his feet. AJ is standing next to the television set, chewing loudly. Wearing a blue tank top and loose basketball shorts.

Joe smiles, tasting a phantom of the different meats on his tongue. Ham, prosciutto, pepperoni. Of course AJ made a beeline for the food.

“You like it?”

AJ turns around, lettuce and vinegar on his lips. At the thought he grows pink, immediately using his tongue to lick up the food, gulping it down. Of course AJ likes it, his mind telling him everything he needs to know.

_“Didn’t mean to wake you up.”_

_“Nonsense Al. I didn’t drive all the way over here to just sleep. Get me a segment of that sub and come over here.”_

He didn’t drive all the way here to sleep, and the reason why he drove here was the reason AJ’s pulse was racing. They’re both apprehensive about tonight. The last time they’d shared a room, they had athatdream. The last time they were in the same hotel, they’d shared a very physical manifestation of that dream.

AJ picks up two; one for himself as well, of course. Joe decided to just order a six foot Italian sub, figuring between the two of them they could put it away before their flights home. AJ back to Georgia. They’ve got one night to talk before they go their separate ways again. It shouldn’t be so weird; after all, he’d dealt with AJ all the way in Japan. Comparatively, the trip to AJ’s house now is lightwork.

AJ’s holding out the sandwich, and Joe hears his mind process that thought. “ _It’s weird for me too.”_ Joe sits up, reaching out for the sandwich. “ _You’re not going home?”_

“Florida house this time around; a lot closer to the next loop.”

It’s not a lie but Joe’s mind offers AJ a secondary explanation as well. Joe watches his face, knowing there’s no secrets right now. He can’t deny AJ his thoughts at all. But instead of offering a response, AJ mulls over both explanations while taking a hefty bite of his sandwich.

_“Is that weird?”_

AJ shakes his head. His mind agrees with his actions. He sits back on Joe’s bed His mouth is focused on the sandwich, and he’s chewing audibly. Even louder though, Joe can hear his thoughts.

_“I wanna be close to you too.”_

That earnest voice again. Words from Sunday night pour into his head again, and he can’t help but smile at that.

_“Before we talk, I uh… I need… can you promise me…”_

And AJ’s thinking, but his mind forms a strong enough picture that Joe knows exactly what he’s having trouble saying. He feels the same way, the exact same way. And now AJ knows he does too. They don’t have to say a word, but then again, Joe knows how nice it can be to hear it aloud.

“No matter what happens between us from this, we’re friends,” Joe affirms. “You’re one of the most important people in my life. Al… we’re going to be okay.”

AJ nods, before taking a large bite of his sandwich. What’s left of the Italian makes Joe aware that his remains untouched in his hands. His eyes meet AJ’s, as if to see if AJ is judging him for it, and the sudden _really?_ reminds him that AJ knows every irrational thought he has. He’d stood before plenty of people who he’d wondered if they could somehow see through him, and here was someone who can, who is the living embodiment of every anxiety he’s managed to wrestle down.

_“It’s not that serious.”_ Another large bite, uncaring of manners or social graces that Southerners usually had. “ _If you don’t want it, give it to me.”_

_“You’re a pig.”_

AJ’s hand goes to his face, pushing up his nose into a snout, and Joe can’t help but laugh at that. It was about the cutest response he could’ve imagined. “ _Oink oink.”_ Joe laughs harder, the words loud in his head. AJ tries to think of the sound itself next.

“Okay, okay, stop it!”

AJ’s smiling, cheeks stuffed. His finger’s still on the tip of his nose. Multitasking between his true love of food and being an absolute moron. It’s a fucking talent, really. The problem is, AJ’s mind is just as open as his is, and Joe knows exactly why AJ’s doing it. To distract him. To ease whatever weirdness might be between them.

There shouldn’t be any.

Joe watches AJ forget the attempt, watches him finish what’s left of his food. AJ appreciates that Joe thought about him enough to buy him food. AJ appreciates that Joe drove through Texas to be with him. Once the giggles are gone, only warmth radiates from his best friend. It’s more than comforting, it’s the only green light Joe needs. He reaches behind him, putting the untouched sandwich on the night stand. AJ catches on before he’s even done putting it down.

While he doesn’t expect it to, Joe waits for that warmth to go away, to diminish. At this moment, this _thing_ between them will both ruin them and make them much more. Schrödinger’s sexual tension. AJ doesn’t get the reference and Joe is can’t help but smirk.

_“Don’t make fun of me.”_

_“I’m not…”_

The warmth doesn’t go away. No, now it’s accompanied by physical warmth. AJ’s shoulder against his, his thigh pressed against his, his face turned and his mouth against Joe’s. Joe might’ve seen it coming if AJ hadn’t acted on impulse. The most open book to him, and yet still, AJ could surprise him. If it were just to shut him up, it worked, Joe’s smirk melting away. It was nothing like the one in New York, that feeling that everything just simultaneously clicked together and fell apart.

_“I misread the moment?”_

Joe breathes at that. God, he never wants AJ to feel like that. He shakes his head, moving a hand to AJ’s arm. Rubbing it gently.

_“I’m really just mad you beat me to the punch.”_

AJ’s ready for Joe when he leans in, meeting him part of the way. This one’s slower. The noise quiets as it’s just them, both their lips. Joe can more than feel his heartbeat, almost magnified through their bond. Or maybe that’s his own heart. Both scared and excited for this moment, maybe for far longer than he’d even been aware of. Joe could barely make sense of his own thoughts; it’s a wonder that AJ could.

Joe’s not sure if he guides AJ closer or if AJ’s moving. His mind loops between AJ’s desire and his own, until he’s unsure who wants what. If AJ wants to be held or if Joe wants him close. If AJ just plucks out that Joe enjoys his fingers by his ears or if AJ just wants to hold his face between his hands. Their minds both edit each other’s technique, and neither seem bothered by directives to slow down, or to tilt their head a bit more. or to nibble AJ’s lip. Well, maybe Joe wanted that one, he’s not sure. All he knows is that he could get used to that breathy sigh.

A heavy knock breaks whatever’s come over them, AJ and Joe looking at each other with wide eyes. _Oh fuck._ Another knock. Joe feels AJ’s hand press hard on his mouth, and his brows knit close together, staring at the other man.

What the fuck?

_“Shut up!”_

“Hey, AJ? You in there?”

Oh fuck, Xavier.

AJ’s hand presses harder down on Joe’s lips. AJ’s on his lap and their bodies barely inches apart, and forced out of the kiss, Joe wonders how they got that far. He hadn’t planned to start making out with AJ; but then again, there’s a lot he hadn’t planned.

_“God stop talking!”_

“AJ?”

Another knock, and AJ stares at the door, trying to will Xavier away. He’s worried about being caught. He’s worried about labelling this before they’re even sure what this is. He’s worried about how much he enjoyed this; their heavy breathing is even too loud for AJ, so much that he’s considering covering his own mouth.

_“Oh god.”_

AJ reaches into his own pocket, pressing down on a button on his phone. Not even sure if it’s the right one. As it turns out, it’s not the volume button, the sound letting Joe know that AJ turned his cell off. AJ shuts his eyes, and Joe rubs his lower back, trying to ease him. But when no sound rings out, no new shout from the other side of the door, it becomes clear that Xavier must not have heard it. Still, they both remain in place, the only movement Joe’s hands on AJ’s back.

_Christ._ AJ’s hand falls from his face, and as Joe feels his relief, he can’t help but laugh. It takes AJ a moment to grasp what’s so funny, but it clicks, his face turning red as Joe’s thoughts helpfully inform him of how he kept telling a man with a hand over his mouth to shut up.

“You were bein’ loud,” he hisses.

“In our minds,” Joe retorts, pulling AJ closer into a hug. After a moment, AJ’s arms wrap around his back, and his head rests on Joe’s shoulder.

_“I’m dumb.”_ Joe doesn’t disagree or agree, his mind offering examples to both affirm and deny that. He’s known AJ too long. “ _I’m not ashamed of you.”_

_“Your business is your business. I get it. We can read each other’s minds, remember?”_

AJ nods against his shoulder. “ _Our business, Joe. God, I didn’t even know where that came from, you know?”_

Joe knows exactly what he means. “ _It kind of felt like… we were egging each other on. I definitely wasn’t planning to pull you into my lap.”_

_“Yeah, well, I kinda liked that part.”_

Joe thinks _that’s why you’re still there?_ and AJ catches it, chuckling. He wishes AJ didn’t: AJ pulls out of his arms, moving to stand. Joe’s eyes follow AJ’s movements, and AJ catches him looking, chuckling again.

_“I don’t wanna go too fast with you.”_ AJ thinks about how they couldn’t go fast enough just minutes ago, and they both realize they have no idea how long they were like that. It lingered before, but now it feels like it slipped through their fingers too easily. Both farther than they’ve ever gone together and not far enough.

_“We can uh… just do what feels right and go from there?”_ Joe nods, trying to make AJ feel as comfortable as he does. _“And if we’re in each other’s minds, we’ll know when to stop.”_

_“And when we’re not, you’ll just have to tell me.”_ The thought makes Joe grin. At the edge, holding his best friend’s hand, and they’re going to jump together. Noting the metaphor, AJ reaches out, Joe’s hand already reaching out to meet his. Physical assurance that whatever happens—whether they crash, or this turns out to be exactly what they need—they’re in this together. Joe’s thumb rubs against the back of AJ’s hand. _“You and I are friends, and none of the rest matters as much as that.”_

Joe nods at him, hoping against sense that AJ can’t feel the fluttering in his stomach… or better yet, that it’s AJ who’s feeling it. Or maybe that they both feel it, and their emotions are overlapping so that neither knows who felt it first.

Joe can get used to this kind of synergy. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you were the requester, drop me a line. You didn't really give me much to work with pairing wise so I used my personal OTP. If you had a preference, let's talk. You can find me on tumblr same name.


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